_{[ When did it happen, again? Sometime in May, he theorizes, but he can never be entirely sure. It must be all the unnamed powdery things going into his system. ]}

_{It all felt very elitist – standing in a room full of people who made no attempt to care about each other, sipping acidic drinks that practically left splinters in his tongue, roaming around and staring at wet oil on dry canvases. It was the first time he had ever ventured out of the house with his sister tagging along, and certainly the last.}

The memory itself doesn’t hurt, just the way it feels when relives it every night. Of course, his nightmares are usually dotted with somber instances of his sister’s company, and that particular occasion is one of the more dreaded ones.

How does one lose their sibling at an arm museum? His innate stupidity still haunts him to this day.

Maybe it’s because it was his fault, and nothing can repay that.

It was so bright –– the lights left shady creases in the corners of his vision when he stared at one thing for too long. He knew Alice loved art, being who she was, and his parents were gone for the third time this week. He was seventeen and she was stubborn. He had to do something.

They sneaked in through the back in fear of the heavy admission prices, dressed in the nicest clothes they owned. They were fiery and excited and their palms were sweating like they had just run a race – it was glorious.

Until Alice slipped a corner, and Christopher found himself distracted by an eclectic painting that was quick to induce a headache. He turned. She was gone. He panicked. She was still gone.

He refuses to remember the details following, because that kind of panic is not the kind he would like to recall – especially not with where he stands in terms of mental stability. Bottom line, he didn’t see her again until she returned a week later, in different clothes than she had left in.

He wanted to punish her. He couldn’t. He wishes he had.

  [ It may have been her choice, but it had to have been his fault. He won’t accept any other theory. ]